manywinged:

*starts making out with you* *places the cursed artefact in your bag while you’re not looking*

pigswithwings:

ythink computers twirl their wires in a silly flirty fashion like high school girls twirl their hair

fallingtowers:

i’m raising my son to speak and act and dress like a 19th-century british dandy and today he told me “mamà, today at school a group of miscreants tried to bully me but i bit my thumb at them and said ‘i pity you, that your world is so small, and the wonders therein so few’” so proud of him

dappermouth:

(greeting someone u care for deeply)  well well well…. look who crawled out of the primordial FILTH

glitchlight:

random-meme-bot:

hawkin-byrd:

Building my silly machines to destroy my silly archenemy

coming back into the engine bay with my mecha body trashed and flirting with the mechanics to make it all better and they hate me for it but i catch them on the shipdeck like

hylialeia:

I can fix him [drill sound] [screaming] [chainsaw revving]

vonnegutcunt:

hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

hypotheticalpeople:

guy who keeps going to cemeteries and digging up human corpses but with such an air of innocent curiosity that no one can get angry at him for it and they just try to gently lecture him on why he shouldn’t do it

allsadnshit:

ailaalue:

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?
me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

I’ve been laughing at this on and off for two straight days